Archive for category Thoughts

Sorry for the MIA. Been battling a corporation and getting more and more annoyed by my government. So, I’ve been contemplating whether to post about these, since I’m working for the Singapore government and I don’t know if they’ll try to “rein me in” since they don’t like their “workers” to think critically. But what the heck. Their brainwashing doesn’t work on me.

Well, evil corporation, aka Starhub. Let’s see, they have failed in providing reliable internet service for the last month. Almost every other day, from 10:30pm to midnight (and other erratic times) we lose all connection to the internet. One moment it works, the next it’s dead. Every time it dies, every time we call their “customer service”, which is debatable whether it really is service at all. They always give the same excuses as to why it’s not their fault.

1. It’s your router problem (Nope, unless two very expensive high end routers happen to both be spoilt now yet work on other networks)

2. It’s your computer settings problem (Nope, my brother, the computer genius, sets everything for optimal performance and less barriers for speed)

3. It’s your eternet cable problem (Now this is the lamest excuse ever and we’ve used multiple cables to prove to them otherwise)

4. Only detecting “small package losses” (yet somehow these losses end up in a total cut. which leads me to wonder what they label as big losses? The whole Singapore is cut off?!)

So after numerous times of being nice, yet being talked down to or treated like an idiot or facing a barrier of excuses, I decided to get tougher. Meaning, the minute they start their same routine, I cut them off, talk to them firmly that their excuses aren’t working and they darn well solve my problem if not I’ll pursue this matter as high as I can. You see, unlike numerous other Singaporeans who only complain but don’t have the guts and determination to actually DO something about it, I don’t quit when I know I’m being shortchanged and bullied by some corporation who think they can get away with not fulfilling their contract terms.

Also from my brother and my own investigations, one possible cause for the problem is that Starhub’s infrastructure is being overloaded. With the sudden influx of customers for digital voice (which uses the same lines as their cable internet), they find their network and infrastructure maxed out. And yet, they don’t want to upgrade their aging & limited systems because they want to show high profits to their shareholders. And in typical Singapore fashion, big companies almost ALWAYS get away with bullying and underservicing their customers… I mean, who can blame them? They just learn it from the CEOs of Singapore Inc. (aka the govt).

As to cringing at what my government said, well, while I disagree with making mean-spirited comments, the question they should be asking is why so many people hate or are unsupportive of them. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that throwing money at citizens isn’t going to make them love you. Actually caring and making regulations FOR all the people and not AGAINST the people (or just for the rich & elites) is more important. Oh and you’re “disappointed”? Do we even care about your “approval” of us? Or should we be regulating that? Oh and the way he said that speech? Pure elitism oozing out of his every word.

Sorry, I’m majorly annoyed right now.

Note: Now that I’ve come down a tad, here’s my more logical thoughts on the internet comments by RADM(NS) Lui.

1. He obviously doesn’t understand the culture of forum users. The reason why most didn’t respond to their mean-spirited comments? Because most ignored it. In the internet forum culture, it’s not what type of responses you get. It’s HOW MANY you get. If it’s stupid, most wouldn’t want to help “publicise” the stupidity by bumping up the post.

2. Next, in forums, the replies are not linear in response. One reply doesn’t mean it’s in direct response to the one before. And sometimes it doesn’t make sense until you read the FIRST post and then link to what replies were talking about, or the post before it (much easier than it sounds).

3. This also brings up the issue on HOW Lui is reading these posts. From my experience, usually the tracking software comes up with a lot of hits, say 1000. A lower ranking staff member sieves through it to extract what he/she deems appropriate or useful. Then the next level person does the same. Eventually, after 3 or 4 rounds of sieving and narrowing it down, the “best” posts, maybe only 50, are sent to the top level guy to read. In this long process, things are lost, contexts are lost. Results? The top guys sees what his staff what him to see. Maybe that’s why Obama fought so hard to keep his blackberry. The higher up you up, the more alienated and closed-in you are from the ground. You need to be personally savvy and pro-active in following the news / trends by yourself, without depending on others to pass you selected information, without the big picture.

4. The internet is a place for people to vent, especially in countries where the mainstream media is so “buddy” with the government. So they vent, saying stupid things that they wouldn’t dare to say out loud. And most of the time, they don’t mean them or they know they are just talking nonsense. No one puts much weight into these comments… well, except the government or people who take everything too seriously.

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As a plus size woman, I’ve gotten my fair share of criticisms, insults and ‘well-meaning advice’ from my relatives all the way to a random taxi driver.

Over the years, I’ve learnt how to ignore them or insult the person back (the latter is more fun for me). Of course, it still hurts.

So to well-meaning individuals out there, here’s my take on what NOT to say:

1) “You’re Fat/Overweight.” duh. I know that! No need to tell me the obvious. Most guilty of this are the sales aunties or sales ladies from China. Now, how is that an effective sales tool?

2) “Why don’t you wanna lose weight? You like being fat?” No, I don’t actually like being overweight. Neither do I hate it. It just… is. Of course, I don’t like the fact that good clothes are tough to find in Singapore. And that everyone is a size zero. Or that I get tired from walking up a flight of stairs.

3) “(Without any invitation) Here’s what you can do to lose weight.” Thank you but no thank you. I KNOW what to do to lose weight. I AM doing them. But isn’t going to happen overnight, so don’t expect instant results. I’m not about to become someone obsessed over my weight and looks just because society thinks I should. I am more than my weight.

4) “If you remain fat, you’re gonna die.” We’re ALL gonna die someday. Fat or not.

5) “If you’re like that, no guy will like you.” Now this annoys me. Firstly, not all guys are that shallow (as the person who said that thinks). Second, if a guy doesn’t like me purely based on my looks, well then, no loss of mine, right?

6) “You’ll be pretty if you lose weight.” I think I’m pretty now. And who says being skinny automatically makes you pretty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it? And True Beauty is not what’s on the surface.

7) “I’m soooo fat! (Coming from a skinny girl’s mouth)” Excuse me? If you’re fat, than I’m what. Ginormous? Thanks a lot.

Now if I want to lose weight primarily to look pretty and have guys like me, then losing weight won’t work will it? But if I mainly want to lose weight because I wanna take care of this God-given body, then that’s more lasting.

So please, before you open your mouth, think before you talk.

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21December2008

Present-less Christmas

christmas gifts Present less Christmas

I’m striving for a Present-less Christmas. Meaning I’m not going to buy presents for my family and friends, and I’ve told them I don’t except them to buy one for me either. I’ve only gotten some functional and useful presents for a dear blog friend and her family who truly need and deserve them. Oh and of course for my Compassion child.

Why am I doing this? Well, good question!

1. Presents have become the focus of Christmas, overshadowing the true purpose of Christmas. Plus, it’s fueled this whole commercialism of Christmas, which greatly annoys me.

2. We can better spend the $$ on people, not things. Like sponsoring a Compassion child or feeding the starving.

3. A lot of times I’m obligated to buy something for another person. And I end up buying something totally useless and a waste of $$.

4. It’s pretty easy for me to do this since my family stopped giving each other Christmas gifts since I was 7. Was never a big deal in my home anyway.

5. It’s just more stuff. And more stuff is not what most of us need.

Instead of presents, I’m advocating these:

1. It’s CHRISTmas. Not Xmas or Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings.

2. I’m taking the $$ I would have spent on those many gifts and helping someone else. Time spent with that person, encouraging him/her is truly valuable.

3. Spend the precious time with loved ones, not  jostling in shopping malls, fighting the madness.

4. Proclaim the truth about Christmas. The only reason we even have Christmas is because of CHRIST.

5. Don’t just get into the “Christmas” spirit during Christmas. Do it all year round.

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I’ve always been involved in Christian ministries one way or another since birth. My parents met while serving in a Christian youth ministry. I practically grew up in that organisation, with my dad serving there for 20 over years. Then, my dad moved on to a Christian publishing ministry and my family moved our service over there. Serving in the Christian ministry where my dad serves has always been a family affair and through my many years serving in and observing Christian ministries, I’ve seen the joys and also pitfalls of successful, long-serving ministries. And these pitfalls may eventually cause either the demise of the organisation, the journey away from the Lord and the gospel or the diminished effectiveness of a ministry. (Of course, a ministry can decline purely because it’s time of usefulness is over. This is where we have to learn the hard lesson of letting go.)

The main pitfall that I’ve observed: Human Pride.

The Lord flourishes the ministry, growing it by leaps and bounds. At first, the leaders remain faithful, giving glory to the Lord. But as the status grows, when leaders are not careful and alert, pride slowly creeps in. Slowly, credit is no more the Lord’s. This leads to leaders doing anything to create more glory for themself. And the leaders lead the organisation into it’s demise.

Another symptom, leaders who stay well pass their time. They hang on to it, refusing to let someone younger and fresher take over. Slowly, the ministry grows old with the leader, becoming irrelevant. That being said, new leaders who do not have the right purpose and servant-heart will surely also ruin a ministry.

This is a constant struggle for any ministry, especially successful ones. Suddenly, they have “status”, “influence” and people listen to them. This is where leaders and staff have to be extra vigilant. This is a real struggle, one that I’ve seen my dad battle everyday. He’s open about his struggles against pride, honest about how difficult it can be and how many times he’s been driven back to the Word to remind his forgetful heart of whom the glory truly belongs to.

I say all this as a reminder, and also a call to us supporters of “popular” and successful ministries. A call to be alert and aware, to always lovingly correct these ministries should we see them stray. A call to act as Azariah, the chief priest and the 80 other courageous priests did , when they saw Uzziah’s pride and subsequent sin against the Lord and spoke out against it.

After all, if we see a ministry or a leader or a brother/sister-in-Christ walking dangerously on the edge of a cliff and we don’t say anything, how is that love?

2 Chronicles 26: 3-5, 16 -20 (Underlines added)

“3 Uzziah was sixteen years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem fifty-two years. His mother’s name was Jecoliah; she was from Jerusalem. 4 He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Amaziah had done. 5 He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. As long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success.

“16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense. 17 Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the LORD followed him in. 18 They confronted him and said, “It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the LORD. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the LORD God.”"

“19 Uzziah, who had a censer in his hand ready to burn incense, became angry. While he was raging at the priests in their presence before the incense altar in the LORD’s temple, leprosy broke out on his forehead. 20 When Azariah the chief priest and all the other priests looked at him, they saw that he had leprosy on his forehead, so they hurried him out. Indeed, he himself was eager to leave, because the LORD had afflicted him.

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28November2008

Senseless Violence

It used to be that women and children were safe from war. That there was an unspoken rule to leave them alone. Now, everyone is fair game.

I’m living right smack in area of violence. Thailand’s protest have shut down their airports. Terrorists are killing indiscriminately and holding others hostage in Mumbai. Malaysia’s political system is unstable and in turmoil. North Korea is threatening war.

And though I live safely in Singapore, it is still a bit scary to be so near to the violence. Singapore may be safe today, but maybe not tomorrow. Look at Mumbai’s attacks. No one expected it. The terrorists just landed from the sea and started killing senselessly.

My questions, what are they trying to prove? What point are they trying to make by ending so many lives? That they are strong? That they hate everyone else? That their ‘god’ approves of such useless violence?

Sometimes, living in this world gets depressing. Turn on the news everyday and there’s some war or turmoil going on somewhere in the world. Peace is so elusive as sinful human beings prefer to fight rather than love.

But than, it’s not just these extreme cases, isn’t it? Aren’t there times in our lives where we chose to fight rather than to love? Maybe not as cruel as the earlier cases, but still the same principle. When have we chosen to hate someone rather than try to understand and love them?

Turns out, we can’t ask questions of others before we answer those of ourselves.

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10November2008

Love Mercy

I just watched a rerun of an Oprah episode, one that featured the case of Mistaken Identity of 2 Taylor University girls who were hit by a truck which jumped the divider. Whitney got mistaken for Laura and so begin a long and faithful journey.

The thing that jumped out at me was not their story, but their peace. When Oprah kept talking about their faith being strong, I’m glad one of the fathers made it clear that it was not their faith that was great, it was WHOM they had faith in that made the difference. It is because Jesus has given us forgiveness that we are than able to forgive others.

The other father also quoted this verse: “And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” – Micah 6:8

What amazing testimony. That even through pain, they kept their eyes on their Salvation and kept hatred and vengeance out of their hearts. I wondered if I could act justly and love mercy if something so painful would hit me. And there in my verse lies the answer. Yes I can, as long as I walk humbly with my God.

The Lord be praised for His grace, that even through tough times, He never leaves us nor forsakes us.

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08November2008

Food For Thought

*Note before you read: This are my thoughts, questions, etc. No way are they meant to be offensive or an attack on others.

As I’ve been reading people’s reactions to Obama’s win, I’ve been intrigued by many of the sentiments. Some are irrational, some more emotional, some illogical and some perfectly valid.

Of interest to me the most has been the reactions of some fellow believers. Most are shocked that Obama won and horrified that other Christians would vote for Obama.

One friend of mine messaged me, “I can’t believe those Christians would vote for a Democrat.”

Another friend went further to say, “True Christians would vote Republican. The rest must be poor or weak Christians.”

The first thought that came to my mind was, “I don’t believe it says that in the Bible.”

After more questioning as to why they came to that conclusion, it seems the top reasons are because Democrats allow abortions and gay rights. Republicans object to them. Therefore as Christians we cannot support Democrats.

Here’s my thoughts. Yes, as believers who study the Word, we know that abortion for the sake of convenience or because it was a “mistake” and homosexuality is sinful. This doesn’t mean the person who is committing these acts are horrible people. It just means they are sinners, just like us.

But there are also many other core Christian beliefs and “sins” that are important to consider too. Poverty is one of them. When the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, there’s something wrong there. Human Brutality is another. And hypocrisy? Saying one thing than doing another? (that’s lying to me). In past “Christian” administrations, this has been a major problem, resulting in other countries and their citizens looking down on Christians and thinking Christianity is nonsense.

What then is the criteria for deciding which sin is worst than the other? From my understanding and study, the Lord doesn’t have a ranking system of which sin is worst. All sin is sin. No higher or lower ranking ones. All sin needs to be looked at equally. All sinners still need the Lord’s salvation, regardless of how ‘big’ or ’small’ the sin seems to be.

Also, personally, I’ve never believed that faith and politics should ever mix, and I see this from Jesus’ example. He never mixed with politics (unless he was rebuking them or being hauled up) but instead lived His earthly life free from any political strings.

While we make decisions based on our faith because it is our foundation, we also have to be clear that this is politics. The ‘best’ Christian is not necessarily a good president and leader. In fact, it is usually those who do not try to promote their faith that gain more respect from others and turn out a better leader. We must also remember, US is not a Christian nation (as many would like to believe). It is secular. So, to demand that the leader be a ‘good’ Christian can do more damage than help in the long run.

Ok, I’m being longwinded. I just wanted to put my thoughts down and also share them as a differing point of view. I don’t expect them to change your mind, esp if it’s set already. Just some food for thought. :D

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The US Elections is almost over. It seems Obama has won. While I’m personally elated about that, two people today have put it in perspective for me. Shaun Groves and Lizzie.

Regardless of who won, God is still in control. This is after all, a human system. One that is inherently flawed simply because humans created it. Whether Republican or Democrat or Independent, these are human labels. What’s important is that God can and will still do His Will through His people, even through those whom we don’t feel can be used.

So, whether you’re happy or sad, Celebrate. As Shaun Groves wrote: “Celebrate that regardless of who becomes president, God is still King.

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When we think of poverty, which country do we usually think of? Africa? Indonesia? China? Mainly the 3rd world countries right?

On Monday, I added Singapore to my list. Singapore is a world-class 1st world country. And yet, there are still Singaporeans who struggle daily to meet their basic needs. Food, Water, Electricity and a Roof over their heads.

Poverty is a endless vicious cycle. Parents struggle to survive. Children work from young to contribute to the family. Education is put on the back burner. Children grow up and repeat that cycle. How do we break that?

Three ways that I can think of. If you have more, please share.

1. Active support and help for families stuck in this cycle. Of course, help them fufill their immediate needs. But we need to ensure their long-term sustainability. Educate the children. Train the parents with skills that will enable them to find better jobs and therefore better income. Educate the mothers especially, as she’ll pass that down to the children directly.

2. Promote. Share. Tell everyone who will listen of people who don’t know if they’ll be able to eat one day to another. This is more powerful than you know. For instance, I found out about Compassion International from Shannon and felt motivated to get involved. It’s not that I didn’t want to help before. But when I found out about this avenue for service, it jumped out at me.

3. Above all that, Pray. Not just in general like, “Lord, feed the hungry”. “Adopt” a specific family, find out their needs and hopes, and pray for each one of them specifically. By name. By exact current needs. Pray for the Lord to bring compassionate souls to make a difference in someone’s life.

We don’t need to go far to share our blessings and help others. I bet there’s someone in our backyard now that needs us.

9f4719e249b102631b8329579a946ac0834c9746 Blog Action Day 2008: Poverty

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14October2008

Working the Ground

Today was a long day, especially surviving for over 14 hours with only 3.5 hours of sleep. But it was insightful. In the evening, we went to the Buona Vista for a “Meet the MP Session”. (For non-Singaporeans or Singaporeans living under a rock, that is a weekly time where residents in constituencies get to air their complains, grievance, ask for help from their elected Minister.) It’s also called grassroots outreach, or “listening to the ground”. In this case, the Minister was Mr Lim Swee Say.

The first thing that striked me was the same thought I get everything I see a Singapore politician. They look so much older and tired than their pictures. And more white hairs. That is the most telling evidence that their job is super stressful and takes a major toil on them.

The second thing that made an impression was seeing and interacting with some of the residents in the area. That area has some of the poorest of Singaporeans, whom I know in theory exists, but seeing it first hand is jarring. These Singaporeans have to worry about survival of themselves and their families. Basic needs like food, water, education, utilities, etc have not been met.

The third thing that stayed in my mind was how each volunteer officer would painstakingly write down every single worry and request by the residents in a letter to be sent out to various government agencies and agencies. Then, Minister Lim would come, talk to every single resident and also edit and write the letter, which will later be typed up and personally signed by Minister. I’m impressed. I get annoyed just having to write anything more than 1/4 of a page.

Overall, the visit was a good one. Saw a side of Singapore that is seldom revealed. Makes me appreciate what I have right now, which also includes the nice iMac that I am writing this post on. And my cosy bed. And my Snowy. And And And… ok, list too long. I’m just thankful for everything.

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