As a plus size woman, I’ve gotten my fair share of criticisms, insults and ‘well-meaning advice’ from my relatives all the way to a random taxi driver.
Over the years, I’ve learnt how to ignore them or insult the person back (the latter is more fun for me). Of course, it still hurts.
So to well-meaning individuals out there, here’s my take on what NOT to say:
1) “You’re Fat/Overweight.” duh. I know that! No need to tell me the obvious. Most guilty of this are the sales aunties or sales ladies from China. Now, how is that an effective sales tool?
2) “Why don’t you wanna lose weight? You like being fat?” No, I don’t actually like being overweight. Neither do I hate it. It just… is. Of course, I don’t like the fact that good clothes are tough to find in Singapore. And that everyone is a size zero. Or that I get tired from walking up a flight of stairs.
3) “(Without any invitation) Here’s what you can do to lose weight.” Thank you but no thank you. I KNOW what to do to lose weight. I AM doing them. But isn’t going to happen overnight, so don’t expect instant results. I’m not about to become someone obsessed over my weight and looks just because society thinks I should. I am more than my weight.
4) “If you remain fat, you’re gonna die.” We’re ALL gonna die someday. Fat or not.
5) “If you’re like that, no guy will like you.” Now this annoys me. Firstly, not all guys are that shallow (as the person who said that thinks). Second, if a guy doesn’t like me purely based on my looks, well then, no loss of mine, right?
6) “You’ll be pretty if you lose weight.” I think I’m pretty now. And who says being skinny automatically makes you pretty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it? And True Beauty is not what’s on the surface.
7) “I’m soooo fat! (Coming from a skinny girl’s mouth)” Excuse me? If you’re fat, than I’m what. Ginormous? Thanks a lot.
Now if I want to lose weight primarily to look pretty and have guys like me, then losing weight won’t work will it? But if I mainly want to lose weight because I wanna take care of this God-given body, then that’s more lasting.
So please, before you open your mouth, think before you talk.