Integrating back to Singapore life has been almost a year’s journey. Many times I’ve wished I was back in the US, wished I was still studying, wished I wasn’t back in Singapore. Sometimes, I would even get angry at God for making me come back.
Singapore isn’t perfect and I do not agree with the path the government is leading Singapore on. I think Singapore is deteriorating socially and morally, even while we are prospering economically. I do not agree with the 2 casinos the government is building, and can already see the damage it is doing to the people and families. I do not like how the next generation has no respect and consideration for others, but has become selfish and money-minded.
However, this is my home, my country, nonetheless. And I’ve finally come to a point where I have accepted that I’m home, and actually do not want to go back to the States. That was a different part of my life, one that I’m grateful for, but one that has passed.
What made me realise this was the time I spent bringing a college friend around Singapore and Malacca, Malaysia. While this week has been fun and a good break from work, I’ve realised that I’ve changed a lot and have very little in common with my US friend. Past conversations that could go on for hours are no more interesting or of value for me. I am tired of the superficial and shallow conversations that I once enjoyed. I’ve already realised that I’ve become more of a loner, more contented to be by myself instead of needing others around. I find myself getting more and more annoyed easily towards the end of the week because of a constant presence next to me wherever I go. I find myself yearning for alone time, a space that I can just have quiet and do whatever I want.
So, I’m glad I’ve finally seen the changes and I can finally move on once and for all. Yes I’ll remember the past stage of my life fondly, but the me has changed and I am in a different part of my life, all ready to move on and let the past be fond memories.
